Ron Ortiz
 

I have been hearing some great times out of your old mopar at belle rose But I am calling you out at the next association race at lakeland in may. I am willing to put up a case of my Sassy salsa ( a $100.00 value to Jim Wahl) if you can beat my U/SA 260 .I will warn you that the pup has yet to put it together but he is now retired and starting on assembly this week. So I suggest that you put a hold on your interglatic travel and take this challenge. I won't be driving a Mercury or a Saturn by I suggest you take Uranius to Lakeland...DD

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

yowww, ouch, holy smokes ron, lol hmm the challenge has been made. hope you can make it, looking forward to some good racing this year.that makes 3 possibly 4 u/sa cars in the ssssa this year

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Noooooooooooooooooo! That's MY salsa! Jim

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Hey, I want in! If I disconnect back two barrels and add 200 more pounds can I play for $100.00 and or salsa or lunch?

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Geez.....a U/SA shootout! Wow, I can probably get Billy to bring down the firebird next week and we can change everything over from the LeMans........instant U/SA car!
Yo! Blingmaster........Billy can out-thrash the Pup any day............looks like a throwdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

What ever happened to that turbocharged Mercury Capri 2300 (or, was it a Mustang?) that Bob Shaw used to decimate the U/SA shootout a couple of years ago?

Mark, would it outrun that Cadillac he has now?

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Nobody can out run Bob Shaw's Caddy. But Bob's not in florida for the association meet either. Actually down here, Sid Tolson probably has the quickest U/SA car.........the one the Blingmeister used to own!

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

ok... ya got my attention

$100 worth of salsa ?
cmon the last usa shootout had over $2700 in prizes, geez thats a long tow for salsa !

jack mccarthy

ok > whats the dates ?
does chips & salsa come with beer ?
caddys must run gangster whitewall tires, with A/C on and tow a boat & trailer ?

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Bill, the Capri is raced by Terry Lacy from Div 5. Still a pretty quick car. All of Bob's ex-cars are still fast with their current owners. However, there may be some competition for Bob's Caddy:

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

No, I doubt it. Bob got the Capri hit.
The Mustang is a 4cyl in a 6 cyl. class (V/SA) It could be made to run 2.00 under in that class.
U is a V8 class, and the Caddy is still about 50-60 hp short

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

You just got my attention!! Tolson vs. Ortiz, now this should be good!!:D

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

C'mon space cadet bring out that old mopar...Scott a two barrel 283 is an usa car I think.....Don put the two barrel on and come and play...DD

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Sounds like an MMA match.

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Jack: I think it is about time for a shoot out maybe our association race in november when the 3k race is scheduled lets try to put something together I could not make the first one but I won't miss the next one.DD

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

ok i can put my motor in pops wagon with a 2bbl and it will run u/sa

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Hey Jack , if you and m.j. come down I will give you the latest grand tour

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Hey, just got back from Whoo Terrs, a twin planetary system a couple of years from here, nice planets but the food isn't that good. Anyway I see that the Blingmaster has thrown down a challenge. I also noticed that Gator boy wants to play with that yeller sled of his. Seems that Grand Island Tommy's kid is wanting to do a motor swap, "The Don" is threatning to bring down Junior Knees (he does not like to be called Mr.) all the way from from PA and do some swapping also. Meanwhile Wahl is crying about "his" salsa and there is no way that FWD will fit in U. Mr. Smith is trying to stir the pot, and I do not even know Sid Tolson. I guess he's got Summertons old Olds that Master Bling is trying to duplicate. Then Mr. Photo Haning calling it a MMA event, and to top it off, The Captain and his henchman MJ are thinking about driving down from the Bluegrass state just to have beer, salsa and chips. And whats with the straight laced law firm of Carr, Yacavone & Dedman talking serious technical stuff on this ridiculous thread. But the kicker is Woods offering a grand tour of the area,......the only attraction is I-4.

Is there anybody else out there that want to jump into this insanity. Any of you wanna be U/SA guys or gals want in on some action. How about all you old U/SA cars come out of retirement. Well bring it on, because you are all in for a real big surprise. I got all of you covered by a bunch, and I do not care if I get a HP hit, I've got more HP in the bank to cover any of you.

While away I purchased the "Catty" from Mr. Bob. It will go under by 4.00 seconds under or more. No body has ever seen anything like this before. It is green with ions in pearl, the spiral sensors and the mag field are a bright yellow / blue, and the ........ I've said too much already, lets just say " Talk about BAD."

Ron Ortiz
U/SA light years ahead

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Ron: The only meds I can get is from the VA can you let me know where you get yours . it is quite obvious that ride to La with pup has lead to some serious time demencia. I think another usa shootout is over due and with some response maybe i can drum up some sponsor money...Winner take all...
has the rev or time traveler been heard of this year..I know the caddy is fast but not with salsa injection in gas tank if you know what I mean.We don't have to worry about gator boy and yellow submarine his head is so swelled he can't get his helmet on...So i quess it is just you and me ....You know the Don is always all talk and no action it's a NJ thing.......DD

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Well, I heard that the Capn's Kingwood Estate Wagon was now good for some low 1.40 60-foot times, now that the 3-speed is broken-in, and just how far deep into the 13's that will put him I don't know but I also heard that he WORE OUT a set of $$$$$ wheelie bars in testing, so Catty or no, this could be the start of something BIG!

Talk's cheap... at least on this board (thanks, Ken!)

Bill

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

My last U/SA ran OK but this one will just be plain wicked thanks to the efforts of Billy getting the reduction. Jim the Summerton's maybe bringing three U/SA's alone!! Dana would be the one to watch. If Scott digs up a 2 barrel manifold and carb there maybe more then you expect. I'm going back to the garage I have work to do LOL

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Don: I just read that you are calling the pup a slacker compared to that arthritis ridden short legged man from Pa. Before you dig any deaper remember youth sometimes can overcome wisdom...DD

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Yeah......but it can't overcome Treachery. And you know Billy and I are all about treachery!
"Short legged"?........did you call Billy short legged..............boy are you in for some trouble. Let me tell ya somethin blingmeister, if you see him coming in the gate at Lakeland, you'd better run and hide......although your wimpering will probably give you away. Lakeland's going to be even more fun this time around.

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Dear, Ortiz,Blingmaster,Himes,Dedman,Capt.,M.J.,Jim,Dara n,Sean,Dana,Tina,Hammer,etc if I missed anybody? never mind, Bought new helmet,got Stock/Superstock license,jacket,pants shoes (good til 2012 - 8:50 and slower,took back helmet repianted old one (cause i've lost first or second rd since GATORS!! But i'm going to Baton Rouge Then coming home to de-tune,remove,put in 283 i've bought since being gone with 2BBL carb by Deno, and new cam from Racegods, Sherman lifters,and NOS,OK it's a dream ,OR IS IT!!!!.See you in May @ lakeland,How about a " M to T STOCKER SHOOT OUT " for our own prizes including Frt. wheel drive,We going to have TOP STK AND JR. STK maybe SLOW STOCK OR STREET STOCK SHOOT OUT,I'll put up $100.00 gift certificate from Scott Helms Racing,on products I rep. or Labor, or parts!

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

hey Scott i got your back,Don't worry about Cortiz,Dingmaster,Mimes,Redman,Capt.morgan,Blummer ton's,Lawn Ward,Don't mess with hammer time. Us CHAMPS must stick together.I must watch my back all the time.Mike Pearson is putting my new motor together,I caught him putting valve lapping paste on my rods an mains.He said i was just polishing the crank.Boy that was a close one. GOING FOR #2 see you all in Lakeland Jay

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Don't worry about Nees showing up at Lakeland. " in his own words" I'm to cheap to spend the money to come down there. THE DON will have to pay his way if you want to see Nees...


Hammer

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Hey Guys,
Going to Rev's end of the month to pull motor apart,and call Dick to let him know when to come down to help me revamp the old girl.

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Alan! Were have you been? Call me! Jim

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

talking to rev. now

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Uhh, I really do not know how to say this, but I am in an unusual circumstance. The Catty that I bought from Mr. Bob is not approved for competition in stock eliminator. It states that only 1960 or newer stock production cars are allowed. Since the car I got from Mr. Bob is from another solar system, it is therefore not allowed for competition. You all and the AHFS are so lucky. So everything that I shot my mouth over about going so far under is pointless. I will have to use my 1967 Belvedere for competition instead. So, with that being said, yes, I am ready for the Blingmaster's challenge. As a matter of fact I am ready for Scott Helms, Sean Ward, The Don, Junior Nees, Sid Tolson, Jack McCarthy, Alan Caraway, Paul Wong, Clayton Wright, Donna and Dave Koopman, Darwin Hardy, Ray Remmington, Rich Myers, Vic Hobbs, Terry Lacy, Lloyd MacKay, Clay Peterson, I don't know about Bob Shaw, Al Gentzel, Bill Koski if he has the nerve to put an auto in it, Ray Valpreda, or any other U/SA competitors, and especially Daryl Summerton. Just remember, everyone has a price or can be influenced some how. I am now off to my secret area to refine the old wagon in preparation for the challenges that await, I sure hope that I can get it done in time. Oh, and yes, Daran "the Pup" Summerton is connected somehow, I just cannot reveal all of the details. Does treachery, deciet, corruption, and illegalities come into play here? Wow, sounds like a member of Congress/Senate.

Why has the law firm of Carr, Yacavone, & Dedman not posted?

You all have been warned, now you must await the consequences.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA money, money, money.

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Ron,

With all due respect, and in deference to your multi-faceted tribulations in a failed attempt to get the Catty's legal status adjudicated to your satisfaction, I must point out that lawyers are a busy lot, and believe it or NOT, there is more going on in the NHRA these days than just U/SA.

There's Boise, for example. Focus your gaze, if you will, please, on the legal ramifications of something as mundane as a few quarts of radiator water, and its whereabouts at any particular time (in the engine, or on the ground.) You wouldn't think that an everyday occurrence such as the simple act of twisting the handle on a draincock could engender far-reaching decisions by NHRA Tech, but it appears that the whole concept of ethical racer-conduct, and NHRA's perception, thereof, might in this case, form the basis for a decision at Glendora on Monday morning that could alter the face of A/SA and B/SA competition for a long time.

Or, not.

Our lawfirm has no choice but to to stay on top of such issues, and having been drawn into the whirlwind\melee that surrounds this bizarre debacle, has demanded 100-percent of our time.... and probably will, at least until Monday, when the chickens come home to roost. The U/SA issues are important to us as always, and will continue to be, but for the moment, the secretarial pool is awash in rumor and innuendo about 396's with aluminum heads, 427 horsepower factors, rulebook language and the scrutiny thereof, and the way in which NHRA regards long-term racers who do questionable things.

To make a long story short... well, it's too late. It's just a long story. Live with it.

Sorry, but there's a totem pole at every law office; this one's no exception and just as "U" is near the end of the alphabet, you can guess where it is located on this totem pole in our offices... at this time.

THAT COULD CHANGE!!!

If the issues surrounding the Catty's "solar system disqualification" look to our research team that there might be wiggle room for some creative thinking regarding potential loopholes, we might be able to break loose from this legal maze that is tying up all our resources in Boise, and delve into the vagaries of the pertinent rules surrounding your latest purchase from Mr. Shaw. Stranger things have happened (remember the 2bbl/4bbl 260 Olds fiasco?)

But, you know what they say about lawyers...

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Hey Ron just got your voice mail, I am a little confused why do you need to borrow my 340 I hope its ok that I responded here I lost your phone number but I promise to keep it quiet like you asked hope this helps.

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Hey Doug, that's funny, he asked me if I had a spare 360. Jim

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM,
He is up to something

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Sorry Mr Ortiz. I wish I lived closer than a thousand miles from Florida. It sounds like a good time. The two times I raced in Orlando at the Nat'l Open in December were fun. My Olds is right in between the T and U weight breaks, too. For the right amout of money, I might have to drag it out of mothballs.

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

seriously guys, ron is working on his wagon...
he is fixing the holes in the headers...
using new technology learned from the the pup...
wrapping beer cans around them with hose clamps...

ron is drinking his 12 pack repair kit as we speak :)

november sounds better for a shootout, but...

captain

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

I now see how this is gonna work..The pup said the 455/260 crankshaft would not balance you did not have anything to do with that did you Ron. Now he says tranny needs to be gone through..and rear end needs bearings...slicks are bald and gas tank dry....And social security is not getting a cost of living raise in2010. I do not know how much stress i can take ...Is the sympathy card working..,..DD

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Well it has been some time since this thread has appeared, but the time has come for responses to all those that have posted. Especially since the challenge (throw down) is coming this week end.

First in order is Mr. Dedman and his law firms wonderful and thorough response. After talking to my people and other significant authorities from locations from "not around here" who cannot be named due to their unacceptance in a human society, we have reached a conclusion that some facts seem to be altered or misunderstood. First and foremost the vehicle (Catty) that I had purchased is from Mr. Bob of another solar system, not the local Bob Shaw who finds great combos. The Catty has been deemed unacceptable per NHRA due to it not being an American production, I will be contacting your research department in the near future for some "creative thinking".

Secondly, the so called importance of the Boise incident appears to be anti climatic as nothing has been done and seems to be dragging out it's play time. Same as all the other fiascos concerning the A thru C classes.

And lastly, though the "U" is on the end of the alphabet and at times on the totem pole of importance, it none the less has the unique distinction of being the most controversial class with the fastest under the index qualifers for the longest period of time. Examples are Shaw, Dennis, MacKay, Senia, etc. But most importantly, it is the only class in NHRA / IHRA that represents the USA

Mike Carr, I wish also that you lived closer. Come on down the weather is fine.

Doug Frazier and Jim Wahl, I was in need of either a 340 or 360 to put in my tow car to get the wagon there.

J Slane, I am looking foward to meeting you but the idea of you covering Gator Boy's back is absurd. Have you seen the size of that thing and all that growth on it.

Jack, do I go around and tell others about any little speed secrets that you tell me about. No. Then what gives you the right to let everybody know about the wrapping of headers with beer cans allowing a small amount of air into the inductions system creating a venturi effect due to different air pressures resulting in quicker times. Thanks alot. I will be more discreet in our future conversations. But the bright side of it all is that I have now discovered the 24 can case is a much better deal than the 12 pack repair kit.

And finally the individual that started this thing, The Blingmaster. No I do not have any meds, I do not need them, there are things on this planet that I have discovered that are truly enjoyable, beer comes to mind, and

and

and

and

and.

So I will see you all this week in sunny Lakeland (50% chance of rain) for a great time. Do not know if I'm ready for you Mr. Simpathy, as I do not know how fast you are. But we have not done anything to the wagon since Belle Rose which makes it unpredictable.

I believe that there will be about 4 or 5 U/SA's there with Daran trying out his new combo, which should be really fast, and Louie debuting his combo, and hopefully Sid Tolson with Daran's old Olds. Sound like alot of fun.

The throw down has been made by Blingmaster. The Cracked Granite wagon will be there.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA you have to read between the lines

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Ortiz, go back to your home planet Zorkon and bring Obama with you!

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Billy What do you have against Zorkon? Mr. Ortiz it seems that gator boy is talking trash about a 2bbl 283 for U/SA....i TRIED TO INFORM HIM that what is the challenge of running a chevy combination that has been flogged for over 50 years...When I was a boy I drove chevy's too. But now that WE have grown up we feed on the challenges of brand X and Y. I was asked a question today Why would anyone want to drive a U/SA combo. Little do they know you can easily throw down 1/2 a six pack between high gear and the traps...How dumb can they be no A/SA car could do that. Plus we get to look at the ladies in the grandstands longer.Plus we usually have enough money after the races for Macdonlds.Plus no other class represents United States Of America any better......Do not be too concerned about Blingmaster new motor sounds like I could drive to Alaska and get 35 mpg getting there..It did drive into the trailer under it's own power .....Pup may not have his new ride ready he has done 4 motors 3 transmissions
in last week to get ready for lakeland....Never sell Daran short...

Re: Ron Ortiz
 

Billy, it is Gortzon, and I will buy you a drink, or Obama my own.
Wish you were here. You have'nt got any crankier than the last time I saw you.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA time is space occupied