[nhramnl]

Another enhancement by the NPTTOEAMHRA (National Pandering To The Original Equipment Automobile Manufacturers Hot Rod Association).


Coming soon for any 2008 and newer car: 1) Competing with the wheel covers on (because wheel covers stay on much better than they used to); 2) Competing with the windows down (because new cars never roll over; if they did, they'd need a roll bar); 3) Competing with your wife and kids in the car (because new cars are completely safe and the wife wants to see what the big deal is); 3) Letting your dog drive (because animals deserve a shot at the American Dream); 4) Burnouts across the starting line (because it's elitist and non-inclusive to only let the big shots do it); 5) Crew members holding the car during the burnout (because everyone should have a chance to be involved and get a participation trophy); 6) Nitrous Oxide bottles, secured with zip ties (because the only way to stop cheating is to sanction it, AND, zip ties so the bottle can be removed, at the end of the race; 7) Delay boxes (because it will make for "a better racing experience"; 8) Engine displacement whatever the owner/driver claims (because Tech is a hassle).