Legal Blocking

[Pat Joffrion]

I'm still waiting for word from Washington on my P B G's patent application.

Imagine guys... blocking the tree with...

No More Duct Tape on the helmet or window (sorry Michael)
Hands on the wheel & shifter (if that's where you want 'em)
No cardboard on your helmet or windshield (saves a few trees... and we all know that Al Gore needs more trees)
The sun visor stays up! (where God meant it to be until he created light)

After reading 60+ comments on Dan's post, I thought somewhere I would have found someone make a comment about my latest and greatest invention. What is a PBG? Without providing all of the guarded details, my Positive Blinding Gizzmo patent pending product will soon become known as one of the top-10 all-time drag racing aids. Negotiations are currently underway with Biondo Racing Products to become the exclusive distributor, once Peter meets my royalty demands.

My invention is simple and I predict that it will become a status/fashion symbol for all sportsmen racers. It's a derivitive of a product that I must have in order to read all of the fine postings made on this site.

PBG stands for Pat's Blinding eyeGlasses. By simply attaching a few stratigically located pieces of our propriatery lamanate (duct tape as Michael calls it) onto your existing eyeglasses, you will then convert your "regular" eyeglasses into PBG's.

W A R N I N G: ... Anyone found to be using my PATented applique, without having first paid a royalty, may, at my descretion, be prosecuted for PATent infringement by any one of my staff of 1320 Washington lawyers.

My guess is that some corporate mogul will attempt to bankrupt me by petitioning NHRA to prohibit the use of eyeglasses containing over 4% of the product commonly known as duct tape. Looks like Michael and I could be forced to the soup kitchen, and my staff of 1320 Washington lawyers will keep the 2-cent retainer that I was forced to pay in advance.

As for now, I am anticipating that the Oakley vendor trailer (the one located in the former sportsman pit area) to soon offer a defined-line pair of counterfit PBG's for 40-bucks. But let them try.... I'll double the antee, pay my 1320 Washington lawyers a 4-cent retainer, and sue the pants off that Annie Oakley girl. By the way, has anyone ever seen Annie without pants?

I say we band together as sportsmen racers and start a petition to eliminate the first two LED bulbs on each side of the tree. Did I just say eliminate to first two LED's. Hell, that would eliminate the need for PBG's. But, with the way I've been driving lately, I would have to cast my vote to remove the bottom bulb. You know, the one directly below the green bulb.

Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year from all of us at No Problem Raceway (where even Michael can have some fun)

Pat

Hey.... Does anyone have any proof that the blue topic icon at the beginning of this post was ever seen wearing a pair of my PBG's?

Note to self.... call Washington lawyers in the morning... demand royalties.

[Sean Kennedy]

let me be the first to say that's funny as hell

[Michael Beard]

I always have fun, and you've always been cool, Pat. 'preciate the Duck Tape plugs. It's the silly season. We just need something to exercise our brains on! LOL

[Pat Joffrion]

DUCK TAPE? My formulated epoxy and cotton applique was once compared to DUCT TAPE, and that matter was settled out-of-court for a non-disclosed amount. (lawyers too embarrased with how little I got)

Has some DUCK been observed using my propriatery formula or PBG's? If anyone has any information and/or evidence of such patent infrigements, please contat me and I will pay you a sum equal to 1/2 of the total monies awarded by the courts, after expenses. As for the expenses, at the request of my legal advisors, I have been instructed to adopt the U.S. military rule of "Don't ask.... Don't tell". Or is that the policy of the CIA concerning Guantanimo interagation tapes( If asked...Don't tell)?

[Chad Rhodes]

Pat, you ain't right. But you are the best damn track owner a sportsman racer could ask for. see ya soon

[david ring]

I understand that the wacky Northrups have already reversed engineered your patent and come up with their own product. Furthermore they will use the strategic alliance they have constructed with Pro Stock racers so that your product is no problem for them!

[Andys dad]

What about a contact lens with a blinder etched into it. I do not think blinders are the issue. I am glad to see them gone, since I did not want us to have to take the time to convert to using one.

I wonder if we should just go backwards with all of the technology (2-steps, computer information).

Maybe run off of our national records in every race. Stop going faster and maintaiin a permanent status quo. Stop matching the way we drive with the performance of our cars.

Perhaps eliminate any modern day devices of any kind. Stop all advancements and stay firmly planted in 1960 no matter what.

Don't just pick on technology and devices - stop all forward thinking that gives anyone an advantage.

[Ron Ortiz]

Pat, if I just close one eye, is that an infringement on your patent? If not, then I am going to publish a book on the legal way to block. It will be a best seller.

WARNING: The closure of both eyes simultaneous could result in blindness.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA I see the light.

[Jack Matyas]

Pat---Its' all your fault , I'm going to start smoking again . Why you ask ? Well you boys must be smokin' some really good stuff down there in the bayou ....................keep up the great work---you're races are becoming legandary !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jason Oldfield]

Originally Posted by Andys dad

What about a contact lens with a blinder etched into it.

I tried those. But then the contacts rotated in my eye, and I couldn't see the top of the tree. You can imagine the light I got leaving on green...