New Race Series

[Michael Beard]

- Event must be centrally located for all racers
- Event cannot be located where any racer has to drive past more than two WalMarts to get there.
- Event will be NHRA sanctioned because they have Wallys, but will be IHRA sanctioned because they're sportsman-friendly. Each entry will be given a pair of 3D glasses so if you close one eye, you'll only be able to see one flag, and if you close just the other eye, you'll only see the other flag)
- Open for Parking on Tuesday the month before. (special arrangements will be made so no work days or vacation days will be burned in the meantime.)
- $50 Entry ($10 weekend pass for crew, refundable if someone can't make it every day)
- Payout starts with 1st round winners
- Must pay $20,000 to win, plus contingency (paid on the spot, in cash)
- Must also pay less than $5,000 to win, or else the hitters might show up and I don't want to have to race them, and we draw straws to see who "wins" contingency money.
- There will be two races in one weekend to provide more bang for your travel buck, but the 2nd race must be a free entry so that it doesn't burden my budget.
- Heads-Up, Fuel, Scales, Tech, & Teardown to encourage participation (Tech must catch what everyone else is doing in the 'grey' areas of the rulebook, but chalk up my car to "interpretation".)
- No Heads-Up runs, fuel, scales, tech, or teardown to encourage participation
- Classes must be combined so there are more heads-up runs, as long as it doesn't change what my car has to weigh.
- Add classes so I have my very own class to hide in.
- Whatever you do, don't change/add/subtract any classes.
- Must have Asphalt Parking
- No asphalt parking (it's too hot)
- Staging lanes must be downhill and shutdown uphill.
- Weather must be 68-73 degrees, sunny (sun must be in the 12 Noon position at all times (don't want the sun shining on the tree, or in my eyes), and also overcast (don't want the sun on the starting line), good tailwind, no tailwind (don't want AHFS trigger)
- Lower the indexes .50 so people can run their cars out.
- Raise the indexes .80 so everyone can compete.
- Eliminate AHFS triggers and magically factor every combo correctly (except mine)
- No FWD or 4/6-cyl cars, because we all know they're not "real" race cars.
- No CJ's, DP's, COPO's, "paper" or other bogus cars
- All CJ's, DP's, COPO's, and FWD cars must be included to bring broad appeal to the classes, mass media attention, and factory support.
- 6 Qualifying Runs. Only drivers who are not trying to play the ladder are allowed to see the sheet between rounds. (except for me, or guys trying to either hunt or dodge a heads-up run.)
- $10 CIC race, $2,000/win Open to any cars I think are factored properly (as long as I'm faster than them)
- Class Runoffs with trophies for everyone and contingency paid on the spot in cash.
- Vouchers for $2/gal race fuel (because I had to make so many laps before eliminations even got started)
- Dedicated 3-day 24hr TV Coverage, simulcast on major networks.
- 2:30pm start each day (need time for breakfast and hangover recovery in the morning, and then don't want to interrupt the lunch BBQ cookout, then I need time to warm my car up and cool it down, adjust valves, etc.
- Done by 4:30pm each day (don't want to interrupt the dinner BBQ cookout or night out on the town, or beer-thirty comraderie)

What else?