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04-20-2012, 11:09 PM | #1 |
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Joke
Arti was a real loser. Every job and every idea he ever had turned out wrong. He thought to himself, if I went into business for myself, maybe, just maybe I can do well. He thought and he thought, what could he do. It came to him, he would be a HIT MAN.
The next day he put a classified ad in the newspaper reading, "I am Arti, I will be your HIT MAN. Give me a call and I will kill anyone you want rubbed out." Well that very day Arti receives his first call. The caller asks if it were true that Arti would indeed kill anyone and Arti assured him that was the case. The man told Arti he wanted his wife killed. Arti said, "Fine, but how much will you pay me?" The man replied, "$1.00." Arti said, "No way, bullets cost more than that." The man replied, "Look, take it or leave it. Many people would kill my wife for free, but I don't want to be obligated." Arti thought it over and figured he could use the practice so he said, "OK, tell me about your wife, how can I find her?" The man said, "In the produce department at Food-Mart, every day at four o'clock she is there. She wears a yellow outfit and is always complaining about something." Arti decides that he will go there and choke her. At least he will save himself the cost of bullets. Sure enough, she is in the produce department of Food-Mart complaining about the fruit being either too hard or too soft. Arti reaches behind her and chokes her. As she fall to the floor, she makes a gasp. The manager of the produce department turns around and sees what has happened and calls out. Arti lunges at the manager and chokes him. Just as the manager falls to the floor, a lady sees what has happened and screams out. Arti grabs her chokes her and runs out of the supermarket. He is captured a block away. What does the headline of the newspaper read? ARTI CHOKES THREE FOR A DOLLAR AT FOOD-MART! (With apologies to my friend Artie Leong) 73 more to go.
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04-21-2012, 10:07 AM | #2 |
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Re: Joke
geeezzz, that's bad.......
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04-21-2012, 12:07 PM | #3 |
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Re: Joke
Shaggy Dog Jokes....
You started it Ed... OK, now, let them roll... Roy Rogers had been to the store and bought a beautiful new pair of Cowboy boots. Everyone in town had admired his new boots, and he was quite pleased with them.. The next day he was out on the range when suddenly he was attacked by a fierce mountain lion. Roy fought hard against the Mountain lion, but he dropped his gun, and had no way to fight it off. Finally Trigger ran off, and he fell on the ground, as the lion continued to attack him. He kicked and he kicked as he tried to defend himself, and the lion bit and ripped at his feet, shredding his boots, as he finally kicked the lion to death.. He threw the lion up on trigger's back and rode back into town, where he was stooped by his old friend Gabby Hayes.... Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes? David The New Hemi Guy Last edited by NewHemi; 04-21-2012 at 12:16 PM. |
04-21-2012, 08:36 PM | #4 |
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Re: Joke
I liked Artie chokes three for a dollar better.:>):>):>)
70 more to go
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05-05-2012, 11:30 PM | #5 |
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Re: Joke
So did I Ed, but I was hoping that we would see a few more...
Guess I had hoped for too much. David The New Hemi Guy |
05-06-2012, 10:55 PM | #6 |
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Re: Joke
David,the best jokes I've heard lately would,under the new rules and regulations,get me bounced,if you know what I mean.
55 more to go.
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