Live from Englewood Florida

[Ron Ortiz]

It is 90 some degrees but there is a nice breeze. Parking is at a premium. Spaces in the field have filled up fast, and since there is no pavement all the pros were turned away at the gate. There is still parking available by the pond under the oak trees near the aardvaark nesting grounds. For those who want electrical and water hookup, spaces are available upon written request and a $5,000. deposit. This includes tour of the pond and the aardvaarks.

So far we have had a maximum of 4 time trials. You can pull up anytime you want but only 4 shots allowed. After that you have to bring your own liquor. After your first run, you have to stop by the scales to see if you are overweight. if so then you must proceed to the wait room and wait until you loose some weight. The car will be checked for all the possible infractions that are normally not looked for. Such as does your car weigh right with your little 170 lb frame removed from the minimum. Once you pass weight check then there is fuel check, if you have some then you are OK, if you do not have any then you must push your car off the scales for the next competitor.

NOTE: Any run more than .001 under will be reviewed. Any braking beyond the 1,000 foot mark will be deemed not racing and therefore will be disqualified as a run. If you run more than .001 under and did not brake or lift then you qualify automatically without any further inspections.

Eliminations start tomorrow at 1:00PM After reviewing all the runs it is determined that only U/SA cars can qualify #1 as it is too hard to determine wether they lifted or not

Tonights festivities include swomp cabbage and gator tail and we are putting on a benefit for Jay's house so he can compete in MH/E. (mobile home/experemental)

Kenny, the traction is somewhat sketchy, but what do you expect from sugar sand, when it bites, you are there.

Michael, it takes way more than one round to win here. We hear all kinds of excuses here why someone did not win. It's endless, "my car would not start because someone took my engine" "I could not make it to the lanes because those two big thugs tied me up", " I did not know that she had a sister that was in the witness protection system", "They put styrofoam in my nostrils". It never stops, all the whining, just like class racing.

Scott, first round is tomorrow, where are you, got some lame excuse. "Oh, I forgot where Florida is"

Jimbo, from past experience at the IHRA divisional when I set the record and the headers fell apart due to over oxidation and then were replaced by fine aluminum from Budweiser, not Bud Light, just Bud, and the car proceeded to perform as if nothing happened, I can honestly say, this Buds for you. BTW, the new cans with the red tag are slightly thinner.

OK, everybody be real quiet.
Hi Mack, how are you doing. What are you talking about getting your feelings hurt, what race are you talking about. I'll see you soon, your good buddy, Ron.

OK, he is gone, back to our regular scheduled programming.

Tomorrows forecast looks like there is going to be some fantastic racing. It appears from the qualifying sheet that all the new Drag Packs and Cobra Jets are paired in the first and every round thereafter. Since the rule about braking will be enforced there is little anticipation of any of these cars making it to the finals.

Leading the list so far is Ron Ortiz's Imperial Palace qualifying at a whopping 22 seconds under the MH/E index. At a distant second is the imaginary Jim Fitzpatrick with an artifically fabricated time slip of a -.002. The competition will be fierce tomorrow.

Thats it for now, it is time for some frosty beverages and a night out with the aardvaarks.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA I like ants

[CycloneFE]

Ron,

Regarding the "swomp cabbage" is that the food or the band?

[Ron Ortiz]

The results are in.

All the competitors had a drivers meeting before eliminations. It was such a nice day with temps in the upper 80's to 90 degrees with a nice breeze. It was decided that we split the $50,000 purse and just go to the beach. There were babes in bikinis, and for you lady racers out there, there were dudes in little tiny bathing suits. We ended up having a cookout on the beach and with the purse being split everybody decided to pitch in and hire a band and bring in the famous "Dancing Baers" Anyway a great time was had by all and we are already talking about next years race. See ya all there.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA them twin Baers are something else, honey