Help Wanted

[Ron Ortiz]

I am the most qualified individual out there. I have met every qualification you mentioned several times and then some. Actually, I can improve your standards by several notches. For the better part of some sixty years I have perfected the art of organized and disruptive social behavior along with controlled patience of obnoxious individuals, some of who you may know. Additionally, I have the capabilities of remaining coherent for a long duration of time.

Of course with my extremely high qualifications comes a high price tag. Though you are looking for the right person, I will need for you to provide me with YOUR qualifications and exact needs to determine the correct amount of pay. Upon approval I will submit the necessary funding. Looking forward to your response.

It should be noted that with this contract the wagon is available for pit rides and services. Ask anyone who has ever had the privilege of riding in the "cracked wagon" what an experience it is.

Ron Ortiz
U/SA the show must go on